Paaacooock!

I’m truly tired.
I’m disappearing to bed.
I hope I don’t come round too early and have difficulty getting back to sleep.
I’ll make certain the curtains are drawn.
The brightness makes me awake.
The wank sends me to sleep.
The horrors keep me from kipping.
The red lets me dream.
That everyone's a chicken.
Paaacooock!

Using a computer

After a long period of time, I always thought it was weird.
After a long period of time, I always thought it was strange
After a long period of time, I always thought it was bizarre
After a long period of time, I always thought it was outlandish
After a long period of time, I always thought it was extraordinary
That I didn’t know how to use a thesaurus or the cut and paste thingy on the computer.
Do you think I’ve over done it?
I certainly do!

Sick

I’ve just been sick out side my house. The thing is I didn’t drink that much and the whole way home I never thought I would puke. Normally I know that I’m going to be sick but this time it just crept up on me. Strange, tomorrow I’ll tell you about how I pissed the bed. Good night!

Tired

I think today may have was the most tired I have ever been.
I can’t remember the last day I had off the booze.
I was thinking tomorrow would be a great day to start.
I have friends visiting and the footballs on.
I don’t even know whose playing but it’s probably some one good or shit.
I don’t know.
I have to get up at six thirty tomorrow and go to work.
I wish I lived closer to work so I could get up later.
I’m so tried
I need to go bed.
I…

Raymond works

Some people go to work to work. Raymond goes to work to drink.
He works in a bar in a Restaurant in a great city on a tiny Planet just outside ours.
He’s a very short man with gigantic ears and bright grey eyes.
On Mondays and Thursdays he wears a goat beard.
On Wednesdays and Sundays he wears a moustache.
On Tuesdays and Saturdays he wears big side-burns.
Often he is so drunk that he fails to remember what day it is and wears them all.
Raymond is sixty-four and has been working at the restaurant for forty-nine years.
He has seen countless members of staff come and go.
A number of them were very fond of Ray because he would always got them intoxicated at work.

New Years Day

“Hello…Hello…Rob, where the fuck am I?”
He had his leather jacket laid over his body; he was fully dressed and was lying on a bench in a very dark room. He was unpleasantly cold. He got up from where he was positioned and moved in a direction, which he was familiar with. This man had been in this place before. Discovering several stairs he decides to move down them gradually. If he moved to fast the man might have fell and his journey would have been finished. As he got to the bottom of the stairs he found a place he had never visited before. He did not have time to experience this new world; he was tired and couldn’t see the end of his nose. He was freezing and found what he was looking for, more clothes to cover his shivering body. He established his way back up the stairs. He went back to the bench and slept.

21st

My mate put Vodka in all of my pints on my twenty-fist birthday; I was fucked, slept
outside on the street, puked far and wide and was carried home. Happy birthday fucko!!!