Jive Ass Mother

“STOP THAT MAN, HE STOLEN MY BADGER”
“GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY OR THE BADGER GETS IT”
The biggest problem that faced young Leroy was the fact that the stupid bollox had stolen a badger and not a hand bag
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY”
He ran for a few more yards and found a small ally way where him and his new goods could rest
“WHAT THE FUCK MAN… I’VE REALLY FUCKED UP… I’VE STOLLEN A FUCKING BADGER… WHY THE FUCK DID I STOP SELLING THE WEED MAN… DIS IS DONE FUCKED MAN”
He sat down in a puddle and waited, he waited and cried and the badger looked and the boy screamed and then there was silence.
“Hey man, don’t shout so loud... you probably just save my life, that fat ugly chick was taking me to ‘The Kitchen’. She was gonna make a mean badger soup out of my sweet furry ass”
“AAARRRRRR… WHAT THE FUCK… HOW THE FUCK…YOU CAN’T…I MUST BE... FUCKED…”
“Hey man shut the fuck up. What you getting so Jazzy about. You the dumb motherfucker who did done just stole my ass... why you getting so Jive Jack”
“AAAARRRRRRRRR…..WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON… MAN, SOMEONE MUST HAVE PUT SOME SHIT IN MY SHIT AND SHIT”
The boy was confused he had just robbed a Jive ass talking badger who knew a whole lot about the world.
“Hey you small time pecker wood candy ass bitch, shut yourself up and get with the god dam programme. The pretty dam ugly fat white women who you just robbed is gonna be looking for me, my ass tastes like sweet cherry pie ice cream and that bitch is hungry!
Now we do have to get the fuck out of here. Because if they find you they’ll take you to ‘The Kitchen’ and I would not like to say what kind of soup they’d make out your black ass…"
“ALRIGHT ALRIGHT…just give me a second… I’m…not …sure… what… to…"
“Pick me up and run you stupid cock eyed son of a bitch, before I stick my furry tail right up inside your skinny ass!!”