Blue Crap Bar

She had long blonde hair that was cut short. Her eyes were bright blue but blood shot. Her teeth looked great and she had amazing leg. I tried to listen to the conversation she was having on her phone. I was sitting to far away and the pub was a little too quiet.

She was alone. She ordered another drink. The bar man sat with her and they spoke and joke. I sat there watching. waiting. I got the barman’s attention and ordered another drink. I didn’t want that hairy prick talking to my lady. He poured my pint and I caught the women’s eye. I told the Cock behind the jump to get the girl whatever she wanted. It cost loads, I hated this fucking bar. I went outside for a smoke.

“hey… thanks for the drink”
“it’s ok”
“i’ve not seen you in here before”
“i used to drink here a while ago but I moved on, so…”
“oh right I’ve been living here all my life… sorry my name’s Grace.”
“I’m Toby”
“you got a light”
“yeah sure”

I lit her smoke thinking what to say. I said nothing.

“I work here”
“oh right”
“yeah… I’m at college”

I couldn’t help staring. hair. eyes. teeth. legs…

“so you waiting for someone”
“no I just fancied a pint”
“yeah I’m working later… well in about an hour”
“ok”

I smoked fast I always do

“I’m gonna…”
“yeah I’ll be in, thanks for the light and the drink”
“ok”

The music was so shit that I wanted to cut my ears off and replace them with the CD in the stereo. The more I listened the hairier the barman would get. The hairier he got the worse he would stink. And the uglier his face and more deformed he would become.
Why did it take her so long to smoke maybe she wasn’t the one for me. Could she enjoy me for that long in the cold wet piss?
I started to fear the sweat coming down my features. I stood to walk out she walked towards me

“not going are you?”
“no I need the gents”
“oh ok come and joy me I’ll buy you a drink”
“yeah sure great thanks”

I didn’t need a piss.
I spoke to myself aloud.
Looking in the minor.
No one came in.
I came out of the shitter.
I was ready.
I sat down next to her.
She spoke

“my boyfriend just called he’ll be here in a minute his name Larry he’s from America he’s gonna have a drink with us before I start work, he's so wonderful!”

“oh… why don’t you fuck off you asshole!”

I walked out taking my drink with me. Sparked up a snout and went home. I'm glad I didn’t live here anymore. What a shithole!