Jive Ass Mother 2

Leroy did exactly what he was told; he pick up the badger and ran as fat as he could. He was so confused with everything that was going on that he had no idea where he was going. He ended running in a circle, right back to the same ally that he had first went down.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WE DOING BACK HERE YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKER, WE’S RIGHT BACK WHERE WE STARTED!”
“Oh fuck your right”
“I KNOW I’M RIGHT! I can’t believe it; I’ve been pinched by the Black G.W Bush. Now listen to me you piece of shit… we can not stay here… motherfucker. We have to go some where safe. Do you know anywhere we can go where will be safe… cracker ass”

Leroy stared at the badger looked up and passed out.

“Oh shit”
Badger hurried over to Leroy and climb onto his chest; using his little paws he slapped the boy round the chops. This had no effect
“Please wake up; please wake up Jack, PLEASE… FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET BABY JESUS!”

The badger continued to slap the kid about the face, this was not working and the badger felt he was running out of time. He looked at Leroy with an apologetic frown. He turned round cocked his leg and squeezed as hard as he could. The liquid past from the badger with some force, flowing straight up Leroy’s nose, waking him extremely suddenly. Leroy jumped up screaming, wiping his face and blowing badger piss out of his nostrils.

“AAARRRHHHH WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT…” Leroy was violently sick.
“Sorry motherfucker but you wouldn’t wake up. I had to get your shit to come round or we won’t be getting away. I DON’T WANNA GO TO THE GOD DAME MOTHERFUCKING KITCEN”
“What did you spray up my nose it smells like…?”
“…Badger piss?”
“You little cunt”

Leroy took one step and booted badger right in the gut sending him flying through the air, hammering the wall and crashing to the floor in a heap of hairy badger bewilderment. Leroy realise what he had done and ran over to badger to see if he was alright, he picked him up, when all of sudden he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

“Leroy is that you”
Leroy looked around but couldn’t see where the voice was coming from.
“Up here boy. Christ that kid’s stupid I’m sure that comes from his father. Up here Leroy it’s me… Your Untie Jackie, what you doing down their boy, what’s that you got in your hands”
“It’s a talking badger I stole it from a fat lady. I passed out and it pissed on me to wake me up so I kicked it in the gut. I hope he’s not dead”
“O.K darling, why don’t you bring your ‘talking badger’ upstairs and we’ll see if it’s still alive. What a fucking nut case”
“Cheers Untie Jack, I forgot you lived round here, how do I get up there?”
“You’ve got come round the front, I’ll buzz you in. I’m calling that boys mother!”

Leroy walked to end of the ally looking round he saw nothing, ran up to the front door and was buzzed in, he was safe and so was badger, if he was still alive.