The 250

“Jane are you awake”
“Yes Bill, are you ok what’s the matter”
“Oh nothing… I was just seeing if you were up. I think it may get busy soon it’s coming up to half eleven and the pubs will be kicking out”
“Yes your right Bill maybe we should wake up some of the others, I’m sure they don’t want the same kind of nasty shock poor Jenny had yesterday when that horribly smelly fat man sat on her last night”
“I heard that”
“Oh…Hello Jenny”
“Hi Bill… Why on earth didn’t anyone warn me? I was having a beautiful dream and all of a sudden BANG! He smelt so bad; it was like he poured beer all over his body”
“How much do you think he weighed?”
“Oh he must have been close to Seventeen stone I mean the man was a beast, and the poor girl who sat down on David, she must of wished she’d went up stairs”
“Oh come on Jane, a young lady can’t sit up stairs it’s to dangerous, who’ve heard some of the stories from the boys up there it’s crazy, you know we should all count our lucky stars we’re down here”
“Good evening girls, you two gossiping again”
“Hi Mr Honfire, we were just chatting, did you have a nice sleep”
“Yes I did girls, and now I’m ready for action, how are you Bill”
“I good Mr Honfire, you know another day and all that”
“What on earth was that lady talking about this afternoon on her mobile phone she was making one hell of a racket”
“Oh I didn’t have any ladies on me this afternoon I think that was Steve, she was making all sorts of noise”
“Please, Please lets not talk about it, she drove me insane”
“Hi Steve”
“Hey Steve, did you sleep well”
“Yeah thanks Jane I did”
“So what no earth was she talking about”
“She was from Poland and I think she might have had a job interview for a bar job in Crystal Palace but the stupid bitch had got on the wrong fucking bus stop”
“No way”
“Yeah, sorry about my language Mr Honfire but you heard her she was a right twat”
“That’s O.K carry on”
“Right she got on in Brixton and was alright, I didn’t mind her, she smelt lovely and she didn’t weigh a lot so it was quite nice but then she started getting itchy and moving round loads”
“I hate it when they do that”
“Yeah so do I “
“ Me too”
“What are you guys talking about?”
“Oh some Polish bird Steve had sitting him on today”
“So then the phone comes out and she starts screaming down it, and all I could understand was, Sorry Mr Honfire, ‘where the fuck is Crystal Palace and where fuck I am going, I never get Job now you told me get on this bus it’s wrong one, the next time I see you your gonna pay’, she was very angry. I think she got up and asked the driver and got off at the common.”
“She was mad”
“Look…there’s a big queue outside KFC, is everyone up, its gonna be a busy night”