Taxi for Wonka

“Hello mate, Green Lane please”
“Yes please”
I hope he doesn’t talk to me; I’ve got a really bad hangover
Where the fuck is he going the stupid cunt
“Mate... you need to go straight”
“But the machine is telling me to go to Crown Point”
Fuck the machine you fucking moron
“Look I’m telling ya, you need to go straight man”
“Okay but I think this way there may be traffic”
Just drive the fucking car you prick.
Don't tell me the best way to go, I’ve fucking lived here all me life
How long you lived for, cunt!
“Do a right up here”
This geezer ain’t got a fucking clue
Bollocks, I forget there’s a school here, there’s a bit of traffic
It’s not that bad, it’s still better then going half way round Upper fucking Norwood
“At the end of this road do a right, then first left please”
“Thank you sir, yes please”
If this cunt tries to charge me more then a fiver I’m gonna go mad
Look at the fucking state of you
You look like you’ve got fucking lipstick on; your lips are fucking purple
I wander how many bottles of red we went through last night
“There is lot of bumps this way”
There’s fucking bumps everywhere you stupid cunt
“It’s not very good for my car”
I don’t give a fuck about your car, just drive you knob
“Do a right here please mate”
Green Lane is such a shithole innit
Where shall I get him to pull over? By the bus stop
“Just over by that bus stop please mate”
Here we go, how much is this cunt gonna charge me now?
“How much is that mate?”
“Four pound please sir”
Fucking hell that’s all right innit!
“Sweet, here mate, take a fiver”
“Thank you very much sir”
“Cheers, take it easy”