I’m half Irish and until St Patrick’s Day I’d never had a pint of Guinness. I am a poor student who works in a shit pub in the arse end of the planet. A good drinker I know comes into the pub and says to me. “ Cunt, do you want a pint of Guinness”
“I don’t drink Guinness; I’ll have a pint of Stella”
“You Cunt, its St Patrick’s Day you can’t drink Stella. I thought you were half Irish”
“I am half Irish, and I can drink what ever the fuck I want”
“Look Cunt, if you drink Guinness with me all day I’ll pay for it, I know you’re a deprived student and have no money, also I think you have really pretty blues eyes”
“Oh my god!! Are you a homo?”
“Fuck off Cunt, the pretty blue eyes thing was a joke, what time do you finish?”
“In an hour”
I poured myself my first pint of Guinness. It tasted like shit. After four pints I started to warm to it. I drunk Guinness all weekend and I’m having one now.
I never saw that man again, but if you’re out there, I just want to say “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you”. I love Guinness xxxx
